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A story by Umes Shrestha
Guru baa… eh Guru baa, wake up! Listen to me, I don’t usually remember dreams, but when I do, I share them.
la la, go ahead, I’m all ears.
Last night in my dream, I saw that I was a semi-professional dancer. And I was dancing with a chubby smelly girl, in a stage. In a flicker of a second, the set changed. I was the hero, she was the heroine. What could this mean, Guru baa?
Babu, did you ever want to grow up to be like Rajesh Hamal or Govinda?
Never, Guru baa. That’s why I find it strange. I couldn’t have repressed that absurd non-desire and locked it in my unconsciousness. And, then there was a twist in the dream.
I like the twists! Tell me about it.
Yeah. The actress I was dancing with slowly morphed into my school teacher. It was really creepy. I got so scared that I almost woke up.
Who’s this teacher?
Her name was Bhawani miss, but we called her Boksi miss. She used to beat me up with a cane but there I was, dancing with her in my dream. kasto dimag kharab!
Babu, did you ever have dark fantasies of your school teacher? You naughty boy?
Never, Guru baa. She was the most hated teacher in our school. She loved making the boys naked for punishment. I mean, that horrible bokshi (witch) was really twisted.
Babu, did she ever make you naked in the class?
Only once, Guru baa but I can never forget that day. She mocked at me, pointing at my weenie. dhat teri ka! I had wished a truck would flatten her on her way home.
Babu, so you danced with your school teacher who drooled over your weenie. It’s not a big deal. I don’t want to play Freud and interpret your filthy desires trapped deep beneath your dark unconsciousness.
Hyaaa Guru baa tapai pani, you just don’t get it. Screw Freud. I’m not worried about what he has to say. The problem is – I didn’t really wake up in my bed.
Yeah. I’m not making it up. In fact, I woke up in the middle of another dream. That was a dream within this dream. Do you get it?
Bhagwan kassam. I hate to break it to you Guru baa, but you don’t exist at all. You are nothing but a faint representation of my school headmaster who had raped Bhawani miss in his office. Why did you rape her, you sick bastard?
It can’t be! I don’t exist???
WHY DID YOU RAPE HER?
I don’t exist!